by J.Paul

Are you sure it was August, 2007? It seemed more like October or November when we saw them cos I thought that record came out in February. Anyway.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. This record starts with 'Horchata,' which can't decide on what kind of beat it wants to have, and in the least charming way imaginable. It's all over the place and sounds contrived. Also, the lyrics are silly, trite and have no meaning. Which is fine, but I expected more from this band who've already proven they know how to at least tell an interesting story. What a piece of shit. Moving on after the jump.


'White Sky' starts innocently enough but maintains this dull, intro pattern throughout the song and has got this annoying half-yodel thing going on in parts. Bleh. At least it's not offensively bad like the first song. Well, the effeminate half-yodel thing is. When did they figure this out and why did it wind up on the record?

The next song 'Holiday' has a more consistently upbeat, chanky ska vibe to it. Which I'm definitely ok with. Near the middle they slow it down and fuck it up for no good reason. This close [ ] to a song I actually enjoyed all of. The outro is great.

Ok, I don't know what the blue fuck is going on in 'California English.' Cori, did you say something good about this song? You're fired. It's like the whole band forgot their Ritalin, grabbed a vocoder and just completely wanked for 2:30. It's too fast and somehow boring at the same time, it's twitchy and nerve-racking to endure. This is what the end of a really good acid trip feels like. Minus the fun.

Taxi Cab starts off boring and stays that way. I keep asking myself "why would this song even be written?" The vibe I keep feeling is that no one needs to hear this, ever. Sweet harpsichord break about 2 minutes in though. Otherwise, Sting and yes, Paul Simon, have already done this same tasteless pablum and done it better. Shit, I still have 45 seconds worth of song to listen to. Kill me.

Now we move onto something enjoyable. 'Run' reminds me of what this record should have sounded like; Vampire Weekend. It's fun, poly-rhythmic in a good, bouncy way, sincere and so far the only reason to recommend 'Contra' to anyone else. Ezra Koenig is in full-on falsetto inflection mode and musically it's easy to bob your head and just...dig.  Here's a better than the album version recorded at a radio station.



Well, we're back to trying-to-hard territory with 'Cousins,' a spastic yet somehow listless song that epitomizes the very concept of "throwaway track." This should have wound up in in the same place as all of the songs above, save 'Run;' at the bottom of a barrel fire.

'Giving up the gun' starts with a slot machine sound effect and moves onto what seems like an interesting concept; a staccato drumbeat and Mr. Koenig back in storyteller mode. The drums overpower the other instruments and even his voice, partially, so I have to say this is another over-caffeinated wank.

'Diplomat's Son' starts off with a decently electro/calypso vibe then quickly nosedives into a comatose snoozer that's not worth a second listen. Seriously, 6 minutes long? Did they really think someone would sit around grooving to this stiff, ungainly beat? Maybe they're surrounded by too many ass kissers and not enough criticism. Life temporarily returns to the song for about 15 seconds come the 3 minute mark, then it devolves into sub-Sublime white reggae territory for another 25 seconds or so and then they forget what the hell they're doing and lose all sense of cohesion and rhythmic unity. It sounds lazy and apathetic like most of the rest of this fucked up album.

Finally, 'I Think UR a Contra.' It's not cute when stupid people use 'ur' instead of 'you're' and it's downright despicable for a band literally defining sophomore slump to use it in a song title. Especially a song so lackadaisical in every respect; singing, instrumentation, lyrics and even seemingly production. I have no idea how I'm still awake right now. I'd be angry because I really dug this band at one point, but I'm so disappointed I can't even muster that. The best they'll get out of me as a response is a shrug, a 'meh,' this overlong review and one more happy spin of their brilliant first release.

Vampire Weekend did more with less the first time around. Skip 'Contra'.